The Voices Inside My Head

With all of the working out I’ve been doing lately, I’ve gotten to know the voices inside my head pretty well. There are two dominant voices that carry on a regular conversation that begins the second that I push myself beyond what is comfortable. We’ll call them “The Motivator” and “The Pansy Ass.” Without fail, the Pansy Ass is the one that starts the conversation and it goes something like this:

Pansy Ass: “Ok, I’m seriously starting to get tired. Isn’t this enough for today?”

Motivator: “If you want to get better, you need to push yourself. Now shut up and keep going.”

Pansy Ass: “I know that, but yesterday was a pretty hard workout. Shouldn’t we take it easy today?”

Motivator: “Yesterday was swimming, today is running and they use totally different muscles. Now stop your complaining and get it in gear!”

Pansy Ass: (Quiet for a couple of minutes). “Ok, I think we just passed 3 miles. That’s more than most people can do and I think that I’m starting to get out of breath.”

Motivator: “Stop being such a pansy ass! We’ve set a goal here and we’re not going to stop until we meet it. Today’s goal is 4.5 miles and I don’t want to hear another word out of you until we get there!”

Pansy Ass: “I think our knee is starting to twinge. Do you feel our knee twinging??”

Motivator: “Our knee is fine. Stop making excuses and keep going. Seriously, just shut your pie hole and keep running! Every step that you run now is one step closer to being ready for the race. Do you want to be unprepared? Think of how good it’s going to feel to finish that marathon. Focus on that and push through the discomfort. You can rest for the other 23 hours today, just pipe down and tough it out for just one more mile.”

Pansy Ass: “Ok, but do you promise that we can stop at 4.5 miles?”

Motivator: “Yes.”

This kicker about this conversation is that if I reach the preset goal, I always surpass it. I think it’s because once I get there, the pressure’s off and anything extra is icing on the cake. In the spirit of full disclosure, the Motivator doesn’t always win. However, I hate that feeling of quiting before I meant to for no other reason than I was tired and I usually beat myself up for it for the rest of the day. For that reason alone, I typically will tough it out just to asuage myself of the guilt of quitting.


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