I’ve been logging a number of highway miles driving to and from the prison (it’s about 50 miles roundtrip) and I can’t help but notice the various kinds of bad driver’s out there. Without even realizing it, I created a typology of the various driving errors that drive me absolutely crazy and of course, I thought that I would share them with you. So, here we go.
1) The self appointed speed enforcer. This is the person who sits in the fast lane knowing full well that they are holding up traffic and in fact, are doing so on purpose. They’re personally going five miles over the speed limit and they don’t see any good reason for someone to go even faster than that. They delight in slowing down the speed demons and think that they’re doing a public service by their unofficial policing. Seriously man, just mind your own cruise control and get out of the way.
2) The ignoramous. This is the person who is in the fast lane completely oblivious to the fact that there are 10 cars piled up behind them waiting for them to get over. Of course, they are going the exact same speed as the person in the slow lane so everyone else is at the mercy of their ignorance. If you can’t be bothered to look in your rearview mirror more than once every 10 miles, you should surrender your driver’s license immediately.
3) The person who can’t find cruise control. Unless someone is driving a very old car, it most likely came equipped with cruise control. There is no reason whatsoever why someone’s speed should fluctuate between 60 and 80 for no apparent reason. It just drives the rest of us who are quite familiar with our cruise control completely crazy.
4) The person who moves to the slow lane to let you pass and then speeds up. Typically, someone is trying to pass you because you’re going slower than they would like to. Why then would you get out of the way only to increase you speed by 10 miles and hour? This defeats the purpose. Perhaps you should attend the “where’s my cruise control” class with the previous group.
5) Finally, the people who think they own the road. If there’s a bit of traffic on the road, the fast lane is bound to back up a little bit. Why then do some people feel that they need to come flying up behind you when it’s clear that there’s no where to go. Kindly dislodge yourself from the rear end of the car ahead of you and wait for traffic to thin out. You aren’t going anywhere and chances are the 15 cars in front of you would like to go faster as well.