Feeling nostalgic for my pre-pregnancy waistline and energy levels, I decided to browse some of my older posts on here. I looked through posts about heavy mileage and involved recipes, about menus planned in detail and days spent cooking and prepping meals for the week…and I laughed. And I laughed some more. And then I cried.
These days, dinner often consists of shredded cheese on a tortilla, which is zapped in the microwave and accompanied by a bagged salad. Exercise consists of parking farther away from my office door and taking the 4 flights of stairs to my classroom. On the odd day when I do make it to the gym, my pace on the elliptical could easily be surpassed by any sprightly senior citizen. And planning? Planning consists of making cloth diapers, little dresses and a lot of pacing and (nonproductive) panicking.
Any bursts of energy I have are quickly spent “nesting,” i.e. reorganizing entire floors of my house and sorting through clothes and baby gear (and generally acting just all around manic). I know that this phase is only temporary, but I also know that it may be years (literally) before I am back up and running on all cylinders and not simply surviving on the bare amount of sleep necessary.
I know that most of this is simply the result of being human. I also know that the second I see that sweet little face, I’m going to laugh at all of my angst. I’m just trying to keep sight of the fact that the goal (for the moment) is getting baby girl here safely and soundly. So while I’m torn between wanting time to fly by and slow the heck down, I just keep reminding myself that there will be plenty of time to cook, plan, workout and return to being a freak of nature after this pregnancy is over.